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Two Against One at the Pier © March 2004
By The Hitman

Doug and Raphael were hanging out at the pier, just wasting time and catching some rays. It was a hot day, so the boardwalk was crowded, maybe not really any more than usual but it sure seemed like it. They had ridden their bikes down, laid out for a while, used their boogie boards, and were now just chillin', slurping some soda and taking in the scene.

Doug Raphael

"Raphael, look at that blonde kid showing off over there," Doug said to his Spanish friend.

Blonde Dude

Raphael looked over to see a hot dog surfer dude doing a handstand, showing off his physique and athletic abilities for the passers-by.

"Piece a crappola, you ask me," Raphael replied. "Ain't even worth the trouble of spitting on." Even as they watched, the blonde dude came down out of his handstand.

"Shit, Raf," Doug said, "that guys got muscles that won't quit. Look at that tight set of abs. I don't even think you could damage those." Doug loved to say things like that to Raphael, get him all stirred up. If there was anything Doug liked, it was a fight. Only he preferred to watch them as opposed to being involved.

"Damn punk kid. Give me your cup. Anything left in it?" Doug looked in, not sure whether he had left anything or not.

"Yeah, there's some ice water left." He handed the cup to Raphael. "What you gonna do?" Doug asked this like he didn't already have a pretty good idea.

"Watch and learn," Raphael answered. "Watch and learn." Raphael checked the cup first and while there was indeed some water in it, he began to spit in it, filling it up some more.

He kept spitting into the cup even while he walked, getting himself positioned to carry out his plan. Once the cup was pretty full he stopped, waiting patiently as the blonde dude did a few more tricks. Then, as Raphael had hoped, the guy walked in his direction.

The blonde dude was walking right toward him and once close enough, without blinking an eye, Raphael threw the cup of liquid right on him.

Hey, man," the blonde said, "what'd you do that for?"

Raphael looked at him, not saying a word, only a sneer on his lips. He started to walk away.

The blonde dude grabbed Raphael by the elbow.

"Hey, man, I'm talking to you. Why'd you throw that water on me?" Raphael had the blonde right where he wanted him.

"Take your hand off me," Raphael said, his voice bristling like pinecones just ready to pop in a fire.

"Not until you answer me." Without a word, Raphael doubled up his fist and punched the blonde right in the gut. He was more than satisfied to hear a loud WHOOSH as the blonde's air was forced out of his lungs and the fellow looked like he might pass out. Raphael left him standing there in the dust in his pain.

Doug couldn't believe it. Only one punch and the dude looked like an old man, all scrunched up.

"What a panty-waste," Doug said to Raphael and the two did a high-five. "All looks, no backup material."

Neither of them saw it coming. One moment they were standing there jawing, the next, Doug was lying on the ground on the other side of the fence the bikes leaned against and Raphael was being pummeled even as he was being dragged into the alleyway by the blonde dude.

One of the blonde dude's hands around his throat, Raphael was slammed up against the plaster wall of the building. With his other, the blonde dude was wailing away on Raphael's abs. And he was doing one hell of a fine job of it. Raphael's musculature was already collapsing; the blows digging in deeper and deeper with each punch and it didn't look like the blonde dude was going to let up any time soon. Raphael was already of the mind that he might have picked on the wrong guy.

"I'm coming, Raf," Doug yelled as he hopped the chain link and headed into the alley. As he cleared the corner of the building, he was amazed at how wasted Raphael already looked from the punches the blonde dude was hitting him with. Oh well, here goes, Doug thought to himself as he blindly charged in. Just as he got into range, the blonde dude threw in some kind of karate type kung fu move and it caught Doug just below the sternum. The blow not only knocked his breathe out but laid him out on the pavement as well. All he could do was lay there and moan as he tried to suck in air to replace that driven out.

Raphael tried to take advantage of Doug's distraction. He threw a punch toward the blonde dudes face but found it easily blocked. What he hadn't counted on was the counter measure that smashed into his side, right below his ribs. ARGH. The pain made him twist to one side. Another mistake as a knee slammed into his gut, driving his air out. The blonde dude's hand closed on his neck again, pushing him up against the wall, and the beating to his abs resumed. Raphael honestly didn't know how much more he would be able to take. His breathing was disjointed and shallow, his muscles hurt like hell and his side ached from the blow under his ribs. Frankly he was getting the shit kicked out him. It wasn't supposed to have gone this way.

Suddenly the blows stopped and the hand dropped from his throat. Raphael almost fell forward but managed to gain enough balance to lean against the wall. Doug was just working his way to his feet. The blonde dude walked over to him and with a single punch to the jaw, laid him out unconscious. Raphael thought about running but somehow he knew it wouldn't do him one ounce of good. Instead, he raised his fists.

"Come on, blonde dude. This ain't over yet." The blonde dude turned to face him. Raphael saw the resolute look on the fellows face and wished he had tried to run. He saw the foot coming, flying through the air with the greatest of ease. It exploded against his chin, twisting him around like a pretzel. He didn't feel anything as he landed on the pavement next to Doug.

"Next time, be kinder to strangers," the blonde dude said as he walked out of the alleyway. Obviously not pulsed by the fight at all, he walked out to the boardwalk and went into his hand stand again.